Sex in Silent Mode

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How to Have Sex in the Office and Not Get Caught. Whatever your reason for getting it on in the workplace – and, trust us, we don’t want to know – make sure it stays between you and your amour. You will need Easy-to-remove clothes A comfortable spot and wet wipes. Step 1. Make sure you know the location of all office security cameras so your little romp isn’t caught on tape. Surveillance equipment is typically placed near entry and exit points and in rooms than contain merchandise or other valuables. But employers have been known to put cameras in employees’ private offices. It’s illegal to put cameras in restrooms, so that’s usually a safe place. Step 2. Dress for sex-cess, meaning clothes that go on and off quickly and don’t wrinkle easily. Going commando saves a lot of time. Ladies, remove your lipstick so your partner doesn’t become a marked man. Step 3. Choose an out-of-the way location that doesn’t get much foot traffic. A closet with a locked door is an excellent option. Step 4. If one of you has an office, record yourselves having a fake conference call, then play the recording from behind closed doors; sounds of an important meeting will make co-workers think twice before barging in. Lean a chair under the office doorknob to thwart surprise visitors; you can later claim the door was jammed if anyone asks. Step 5. Don’t return to your desk without freshening up. Be sure to check your clothes for dead giveaways like inside-out blouses and missed buttons. Step 6. Play it safe by waiting until everyone leaves work for the night. Just make sure you know the cleaning staff’s routine and schedule before you pick a time and place or you’ll experience a whole different kind of coitus interruptus. Step 7. If you _are_ caught, say a simple “I’m sorry,” and get back to work. Attempting to explain or justify can only make matters worse. Did you know Nineteen percent of men and eight percent of women say they’ve had sex at their workplace, according to one survey.